The following are interpersonal patterns (flaws) that create challenges and roadblocks in our interactions with others that were identified by Marshall Goldsmith in his bestselling book: “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There”
Winning too much: the need to win at all costs and in all situations – when it matters, when it doesn’t, and when it’s totally beside the point
Adding too much value: The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion
Passing judgment: The need to rate others and impose our standards on them
Making destructive comments: the needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty
Starting with “No,” “But,” or “However”: The overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone, “I’m right, You’re wrong”
Telling the world how smart you are: The need to show people we’re smarter than they think we are
Speaking when angry: Using emotional volatility as a management tool
Negativity, or “Let me explain why that won’t work”: The need to share our negative thoughts even when we were not asked
Withholding information: The refusal to share information with others to maintain an advantage over them
Failing to give proper recognition: The inability to praise and reward
Claiming credit that we do not deserve: The most annoying way to overestimate our contributions to any success
Making excuses: The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it
Clinging to the past: The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset to blaming everyone else
Playing favorites: Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly
Refusing to express regret: The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we’re wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others
Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues
Failing to express gratitude: The most basic form of bad manners
Punishing the messenger: The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help
Passing the buck: The need to blame everyone but ourselves
An excessive need to be “me”: Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they’re who we are