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The following are interpersonal patterns (flaws) that create challenges and roadblocks in our interactions with others that were identified by Marshall Goldsmith in his bestselling book: “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

  1. Winning too much: the need to win at all costs and in all situations – when it matters, when it doesn’t, and when it’s totally beside the point

  2. Adding too much value: The overwhelming desire to add our two cents to every discussion

  3. Passing judgment: The need to rate others and impose our standards on them

  4. Making destructive comments: the needless sarcasms and cutting remarks that we think make us sound sharp and witty

  5. Starting with “No,” “But,” or “However”: The overuse of these negative qualifiers which secretly say to everyone, “I’m right, You’re wrong”

  6. Telling the world how smart you are: The need to show people we’re smarter than they think we are

  7. Speaking when angry: Using emotional volatility as a management tool

  8. Negativity, or “Let me explain why that won’t work”: The need to share our negative thoughts even when we were not asked

  9. Withholding information: The refusal to share information with others to maintain an advantage over them

  10. Failing to give proper recognition: The inability to praise and reward

  11. Claiming credit that we do not deserve: The most annoying way to overestimate our contributions to any success

  12. Making excuses: The need to reposition our annoying behavior as a permanent fixture so people excuse us for it

  13. Clinging to the past: The need to deflect blame away from ourselves and onto events and people from our past; a subset to blaming everyone else

  14. Playing favorites: Failing to see that we are treating someone unfairly

  15. Refusing to express regret: The inability to take responsibility for our actions, admit we’re wrong, or recognize how our actions affect others

  16. Not listening: The most passive-aggressive form of disrespect for colleagues

  17. Failing to express gratitude: The most basic form of bad manners

  18. Punishing the messenger: The misguided need to attack the innocent who are usually only trying to help

  19. Passing the buck: The need to blame everyone but ourselves

  20. An excessive need to be “me”: Exalting our faults as virtues simply because they’re who we are

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